Holy S*it, It Snowed!

Well we got our snow that was forecast and then some Right now there’s about 10-15

Snowed trees on mount Brocken, Harz, Germany (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

cm down on the ground and we are due for some more overnight and tomorrow! Spring, hurry up and arrive!!!

As you can tell I am NOT a ‘good’ Canadian I get upset over snow and cold temperatures despite having lived in this country my whole life. The optimist in my head is shouting over the whiny voice that it’s so pretty outside. Pretty! Oy. It does look very picturesque but it makes for lousy walking and driving conditions. My portfolio development workshop will likely be cancelled tomorrow. Our first session and already we’re using our ‘storm day’ provision. This doesn’t bode well. I can only hope the following weeks are more agreeable.

What do you do when there’s lots of snow? Provided you live somewhere where it actually

English: Child making a (North Dallas, Texas). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

snows of course. Do you sulk as I do or find ways to embrace the natural beauty of the season? I feel so ashamed of myself. When I was a child the snow made me happy because I got to slide and make snowmen, etc so it was fun. Now I don’t play in the snow and just curse under my breath when there’s a snow flurry! lol

I’m not really into winter sports so there’s not a lot for me to do during the season. My feet always end up cold and so does the rest of me. If I dress warm enough not to be cold I’m uncomfortable! Very few adults wear the appropriate clothes for winter I’ve noticed. When skiing or skating though it is a bit better. Still, my point is I am physically uncoordinated and challenged when it comes to participating in sports. It brings up anxieties in me about looking foolish or silly. In many ways I’ve overcome my cognitive distortions but due to not having opportunities to practice, I remain rigid when considering winter activities.

Maybe it’s also because as a child, when my family would go out somewhere to ski cross

English: Canadian winter sports, snowshoeing and skiing. Français : Sports d’hiver canadiens, la raquette et le ski. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

country or skate, I’d end up cold. My mom didn’t think to advise me to dress warmer or buy me wool socks. So I’d have my cotton socks on in the ski boots and end up with frozen feet. My mom would want to finish her skiing though so I’d have to follow behind her with my freezing feet and crying because I wanted to go sit in the car. Basically I was always made to stay past the point of comfort and my mom didn’t have much concern for my feelings. It always felt painful and I hated going with her to do any type of activities. She’d be comfortable and had no problem ignoring my sister and I if we were not so comfortable.

Now I have these negative memories from my childhood around winter activities and can’t enjoy the season. All I associate it with is emotional pain stemming from what was originally physical pain and emotional neglect from my mother. Until now when I was writing this post the memories of my discomfort from winter sports had eluded my conscious memory. It’s back in my conscious awareness now so I guess I am glad I ‘found out’ what the reason is for my distinct lack of enthusiasm for all things winter.

When you have a Narcissist for a parent (mother) it can complicate things that ought to be

sweater – clothes for winter (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

simple. Lots of people enjoy winter and get to have fun but I had a mother who ignored me when I told her my feet were freezing. When I say ‘freezing’ that is literal because they often got close to hypothermia stage. My winter clothes weren’t exactly sufficient either. Mom took care of her own needs first and if she remembered my sister and I we’d be looked after. But we were an after thought.

I think in many ways it was ‘benign neglect’ because my mom had little knowledge of what constituted appropriate winter dress. She’d stay warm because she wore several layers of clothes but I didn’t know enough to do anything similar and was not advised either. As a child my mother grew up in a poor family so she often didn’t have appropriate clothing and outerwear. That is why I think it was not totally intentional on her part. I don’t think she meant to be neglectful but she didn’t care about my feelings either. I forgive her but it still leaves me feeling like a misanthrope towards winter instead of people!

Do you have any suggestions on how to make winter a more positive experience? Remember that I am not very sports oriented but appreciate any ideas you may have on how to enjoy winter more. Thank you.

©Natalya, 2013.

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