Reflections on Life Thus Far

My life. My story: Exploring mental health, spirituality, meditation & random thoughts I have

Busy But Okay


My portfolio workshop I was in for the past ten weeks ended Monday; thus I was busy trying to finish it to present to my fellow participants. It went well and I feel a lot better about my skills and myself generally than before I took it. So I would say it was useful and beneficial. We started out with 10 people but only had 4 by the end! Now I will have nothing to do on Mondays! 😦 Well, I can find something but I don’t have anything planned yet. Monday was super nice too since we had sun all day and 20 Celsius. It’s really great having such pleasant weather after the crappy winter we had. It stayed around for far too long. Dang groundhog was actually right this year! πŸ˜›

Tuesday was my last session with my counsellor because she was an intern so her placement ended at the end of April. I wasn’t really upset or sad to have to change counsellors. She was really nice and I got along with her well but often I felt we were not focused enough. I felt like I was indulging a lot of her curiosities during our sessions together, rather than focusing on a particular solution or even just having her listen. I am not unhappy about our sessions we had together though as she was genuinely a lovely person I connected with. I’m seeing a new counsellor next week. Since I haven’t met her yet I am a bit nervous but glad I can still go. My dad pays for the sessions since I am unemployed. Thankfully the fee will not increase so I am relieved about that. If the fee would have increased by much I likely would not have been able to return. However, I was told once you agree on a fee it stays the same usually (if you are on a sliding scale).

Tomorrow I am supposed to see my employment counsellor. I haven’t seen her since February when she suggested I consider counselling after I came to her depressed from my S.A.D. She had wanted me to focus on talking to someone from the Student Loans office, in person, about an amount of money owing that has prevented me from applying for further financial help to return to school. But I very stubbornly felt a great deal of internal resistance to this idea. I was angry that she was fixated on my student loans. Perhaps we had reached a stalemate and she thought this was the move that would get things moving again. Instead, for me, it just made me annoyed!(I don’t like being told what to do either!). So I never talked to anyone from Student loans about the issue I was supposed to and now I am to see my employment counsellor tomorrow. My present plan is to go to the appointment and end our counselling because we’ve pretty well taken it as far as it wants to go in my opinion. I’ve been going to her since the end of 2011 and I don’t feel like we’ve made much progress. I’ve gotten more from the workshops put on by the agency my employment counsellor is at than our individual sessions together. So I think I will just take the workshops and quit the individual employment counselling I’ve been getting.

Last night was the deadline for filing your taxes here in Canada so I had to do that yesterday when I got home after counselling (therapy counselling not employment). Fortunately I didn’t have much to do since I was unemployed for the 2012 tax year. The only reason I bothered filing was to get the GST(gov’t sales tax) cheque (a small sum of money you get quarterly if you make very little) and to keep my voting status current. Consequently I was too tired to check WordPress and read your blogs or update my own here. I’ll do my best to get caught up.

Β©Natalya, 2013.



Author: Natalya

Blogging my thoughts and feelings about mostly mental health, meditation and spirituality(non religious). Hoping to connect with other interesting people in the blogosphere. *The name is Russian and is my pseudonym.

11 thoughts on “Busy But Okay

  1. So how did your portfolio turn out? I know you’ve been working on it for sometime. It’s to bad so many dropped it. I’m glad you had sun, it’s nice I agree to get out of the grips of winter.
    Be well.

  2. Bummer the workshops finished you sounded like you really enjoyed it. πŸ™‚ I would stop the counselling too. If you feel your getting no where, what’s the point!
    I wish you luck! Hugs Paula. Xxx

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