Reflections on Life Thus Far

My life. My story: Exploring mental health, spirituality, meditation & random thoughts I have

Exhausted

8 Comments

Sorry for not being around lately to post and read/comment on your blogs; I’ve been tired lately as I’ve had to get up early for the past 2 weeks. Last week our kitchen sink was leaking and we had called a plumber but they kept ‘blowing us off’ because whenever we called to check what was going on they were on another call! They had told us they would come Tuesday morning (Oct. 29) then it was Thursday morning and they couldn’t manage that so told us the afternoon. By that point we were frustrated from getting the ‘run around’ and having to keep calling them to find out what the status was on where they were at. Finally we just told them not to come and we called another plumbing company that came when they told us and fixed our sink. It was just nuts how the other company treated us like we didn’t matter because our problem wasn’t overly serious. We ended up needing our faucets and drain replaced as it had rotted out. We have a new kitchen faucet now that doesn’t leak! Yay 🙂

Anyway, I had gotten up early Tuesday and Thursday last week for the plumbers and the weekend messed my sleep up having the clocks go back an hour here. So by Monday when I had to get up early for the plumbers it was wearing on me. Long story short I had to get up early Tuesday and Wed. for other reasons and today I was supposed to be up at 5 am so my dad and I could be on the road early to drive the 3 hrs. to see an aunt and uncle of mine. Unfortunately, at the time I was to get up I realized there was no way I was getting up and to do so would be masochistic. End result being my dad went on his own and I stayed home. I did get up by 6:30 am but I was just not alert and felt like having to go for a three hr. drive to have a one hour visit was more than I could muster the energy for.

Yesterday, I had my counselling appointment where we discussed my desire to be able to let go of my attachment to my aunt’s (a different aunt from the one my dad’s visiting today) opinions of me. This aunt was my mom’s favourite sister and I think there’s some transference going on (for me) because she tries to act like a parent to me and I end up feeling angry. She also has ideas about what I ‘should’ be doing with my life and has shown disapproval for my search for an authentic life. Her opinion is I should have a job doing something (doesn’t matter what) that pays at least minimum wage or more and being unemployed I am just not acting like an adult. I guess I am being too self indulgent being unemployed and poor! Apparently, I’m just not ‘putting myself out there’ enough and trying. I can only shake my head. The problem is I don’t really tell my aunt my personal feelings and issues because she’s not terribly empathetic so she simply sees me unemployed and figures I’m not trying hard enough. One could argue if I told her the details/reasons for my actions her opinion of me might change for the better. But why on earth do I even owe her details about my life? I don’t! She is nosy and interferes in other’s business thinking she knows what’s best for you.

So next time I see my counsellor we’re going to try some Gestalt or ’empty chair’ therapy out to allow me to give voice to my own opinions regarding my busy-body aunt! I’ll let you know how it goes if it actually works or I am unable to get into the role for it to work. Ostensibly, I’ll be myself and my counsellor will be my aunt. Well that is what I am guessing.

That’s all I am able to write for now as my brain is still not completely ‘on’ yet 😛

©Natalya, 2013.

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Author: Natalya

Blogging my thoughts and feelings about mostly mental health, meditation and spirituality(non religious). Hoping to connect with other interesting people in the blogosphere. *The name is Russian and is my pseudonym.

8 thoughts on “Exhausted

  1. “Empty Chair” therapy sounds intriguing– you’ll have to let us know how it goes. Also: isn’t it weird how much you suddenly appreciate something like a faucet that isn’t leaking? Oh life, you’re so terrible yet good to us sometimes.

    • LOL, yes the pipe under the sink and the faucet were both leaking. We had to put a container under the pipe to collect the water. Fortunately, it was a slow and small drip.

      Gestalt therapy is something I haven’t done before except when I was 18 but it didn’t help me. I couldn’t put myself in the position of the other person I had the issue with (my mother). But I’m older now and have a better perspective taking ability than I did at 18.

  2. Natalya, you’ve got a lot going on. Give yourself a break.

    Fatigue just drains & drains. Rest!

  3. I heard about empty chair therapy about ten years ago. It was something that interested me and that I thought might work good for others, but for me I would need a great therapist to do that, and now I have one. So please let us know how it goes for you. I hope that it is very helpful and healing.

    Good and healing thoughts to you.

    Kate

    • Thanks Kate! I didn’t try it last session because my counsellor was jet legged from returning from her vacation and forgot. I had other stuff to talk about so it wasn’t a big deal. We’ll give it a try next week.

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