Sorry for not being around lately to post and read/comment on your blogs; I’ve been tired lately as I’ve had to get up early for the past 2 weeks. Last week our kitchen sink was leaking and we had called a plumber but they kept ‘blowing us off’ because whenever we called to check what was going on they were on another call! They had told us they would come Tuesday morning (Oct. 29) then it was Thursday morning and they couldn’t manage that so told us the afternoon. By that point we were frustrated from getting the ‘run around’ and having to keep calling them to find out what the status was on where they were at. Finally we just told them not to come and we called another plumbing company that came when they told us and fixed our sink. It was just nuts how the other company treated us like we didn’t matter because our problem wasn’t overly serious. We ended up needing our faucets and drain replaced as it had rotted out. We have a new kitchen faucet now that doesn’t leak! Yay 🙂
Anyway, I had gotten up early Tuesday and Thursday last week for the plumbers and the weekend messed my sleep up having the clocks go back an hour here. So by Monday when I had to get up early for the plumbers it was wearing on me. Long story short I had to get up early Tuesday and Wed. for other reasons and today I was supposed to be up at 5 am so my dad and I could be on the road early to drive the 3 hrs. to see an aunt and uncle of mine. Unfortunately, at the time I was to get up I realized there was no way I was getting up and to do so would be masochistic. End result being my dad went on his own and I stayed home. I did get up by 6:30 am but I was just not alert and felt like having to go for a three hr. drive to have a one hour visit was more than I could muster the energy for.
Yesterday, I had my counselling appointment where we discussed my desire to be able to let go of my attachment to my aunt’s (a different aunt from the one my dad’s visiting today) opinions of me. This aunt was my mom’s favourite sister and I think there’s some transference going on (for me) because she tries to act like a parent to me and I end up feeling angry. She also has ideas about what I ‘should’ be doing with my life and has shown disapproval for my search for an authentic life. Her opinion is I should have a job doing something (doesn’t matter what) that pays at least minimum wage or more and being unemployed I am just not acting like an adult. I guess I am being too self indulgent being unemployed and poor! Apparently, I’m just not ‘putting myself out there’ enough and trying. I can only shake my head. The problem is I don’t really tell my aunt my personal feelings and issues because she’s not terribly empathetic so she simply sees me unemployed and figures I’m not trying hard enough. One could argue if I told her the details/reasons for my actions her opinion of me might change for the better. But why on earth do I even owe her details about my life? I don’t! She is nosy and interferes in other’s business thinking she knows what’s best for you.
So next time I see my counsellor we’re going to try some Gestalt or ’empty chair’ therapy out to allow me to give voice to my own opinions regarding my busy-body aunt! I’ll let you know how it goes if it actually works or I am unable to get into the role for it to work. Ostensibly, I’ll be myself and my counsellor will be my aunt. Well that is what I am guessing.
That’s all I am able to write for now as my brain is still not completely ‘on’ yet 😛