Reflections on Life Thus Far

My life. My story: Exploring mental health, spirituality, meditation & random thoughts I have

Surgery Went Well


Just thought I’d give an update on how my dad’s total hip replacement went two weeks ago. It went very well; he’s back home doing more walking, albeit with his walker still as a precaution. The beginning of April he should be able to do normal activities again like driving and shopping. Although he is doing much better I am still doing way more work than I am happy about. The positive sides of his surgery have not benefited me yet as there’s limitations on what he’s allowed to do until healed from the operation. This means I have not yet experienced a break in my duties. He is happy but I am worn out.

Fallen Angel?Hopefully when his hip is healed (another month or two) I’ll finally be able to relax a bit. Perhaps if I received some sort of satisfaction being a caregiver/helper it wouldn’t be so bad but I am selfish and hate the large workload without some form of compensation. Some people experience gratification taking care of others but, honestly, I do not. Yes, I know that sounds bad but it is what it is. I enjoy caring for non human animals (and 0-2 year olds) but most humans…not so much. In an ironic twist of fate my dad is an excellent caregiver! Too bad he is the ill one.

How do you deal with being an accidental caregiver for family? By accidental I mean you didn’t volunteer for it but nobody else was available so the load fell on you. Do you thrive or feel miserable as I do?

ยฉNatalya, 2014.


Author: Natalya

Blogging my thoughts and feelings about mostly mental health, meditation and spirituality(non religious). Hoping to connect with other interesting people in the blogosphere. *The name is Russian and is my pseudonym.

8 thoughts on “Surgery Went Well

  1. i had to care for my father for about a week 18 months ago. in those days i saw him as an infant needing great care. the grumpy old man came back after a few days, and i was relieved of my duties. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Aw, that is a wonderful way to view it. I think you found compassion for him.
      My dad isn’t grumpy(although I am!) but he talks incessantly about nothing of importance which “does my head in” after listening to him. There’s loads of other stuff too but I’ll try your approach; hopefully it will make it more bearable for me and he’ll be none the wiser (just grateful I’m not grumpy!).

  2. For empathy with your care taking, I will tell you that your dad sounds like he is doing well. My hip replacement was eight years ago. Arthritis ate out the entire hip except for 30% of the socket. Two screws hold it all together. I was not allowed to bear any weight. I was in rehab three weeks and was in therapy six days a week. Three hours a day. When I went home I was still on a walker with no weight bearing. Nurses and PT came to the house. It was five months before I could go back to work with a cane. I was only able to work for a year and a half. They made me retire so I wouldn’t end up in a wheelchair. I would check with your dad’s insurance. They may pay for someone to assist him and relieve you. Hugs, Barbara

  3. I’m so glad that your Dad got his surgery finally. Sorry that put way too much on you. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ I cared for seniors as a job for three years and it near did me in. It also gave me a fear of growing old. Hugs xo

    • Thanks, I’m glad he got his surgery too. Once he is healed I will not be waiting on him like I am now though! He isn’t an invalid so he can do stuff and I intend on pointing that out to him if he forgets!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

      My previous job was doing similar to what you did but with intellectually disabled adults. At least I got paid for it! LOL

      • Good for you!!

        Oh yes I worked also with blind/deaf/mentally/physically (all at once) handicapped for a year. It is not my gift. One year was too much!

      • LOL, it wasn’t my gift either but I stayed 3 years and probably should have left a year before that but I was scared. Quitting wasn’t something I was used to so I basically left it ’til I was falling apart and had no choice but to quit.

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