Reflections on Life Thus Far

My life. My story: Exploring mental health, spirituality, meditation & random thoughts I have


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I found this image on Pinterest and really liked both the visual and message printed at the top of it.




Happy New Year!

Okay, so I am late for the Western world but the lunar new year is February 8th so I am technically on time for that anyway! lol It’s the year of the monkey.


2016 arrived, for me, with little to report as I have been in some weird state of lethargy that left no energy for grand New Year plans. Due to the fact I hardly ever leave my house I find anytime I do go out I end up catching something. Thus, for the past month I have had an annoying bout of allergic rhinitis and sinusitis, as well as some flu like symptoms in spite of getting the ‘flu shot’.


I want to hibernate all winter like a bat.

In short, I have had no energy. Oh sure, I went out a few times (not to do groceries!) and managed to avoid sinking from Seasonal Affective Disorder into a clinical depression; but beyond that I feel as though I have done very little. My counsellor has been ‘missing in action’ since she left for some type of emergency back in July (not sure of the specifics obviously). The point is I have not seen her since the end of May 2015 (my last appointment) and think I am doing alright. It’s just the winter lack of daylight draining me along with my seeming penchant for catching colds/sinus problems every time I venture outdoors.

All I want is enough energy to do my laundry regularly and keep my home looking half-way decent. Surely, that is not too tall an order. Now that my ear and jaw are feeling less painful (sinus related) I have found a bit of energy returning to me. For awhile I wanted to pop Advil regularly but decided against it since one develops a tolerance to drugs that way.

Fortunately I don’t take it often, as I heard in the medical news regular long-term use of NSAIDs (non steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs) can lead to Alzheimer’s. Before 2010 the medical community thought it prevented or protected against Alzheimer’s. Good thing I only ever overdosed on Aspirin and Tylenol! Sorry bad joke. I last tried to commit suicide in November 2000 using Aspirin on two attempts and Tylenol on the other one. I have to wonder though about my mom because she took NSAIDs regularly for many years for arthritis and developed Alzheimer’s. She died at age 60. The only positive I read about the connection between NSAIDs and Alzheimer’s was there was some speculation it might stave off the worse symptoms of the disease for longer than would be the case without NSAIDs.

But none of this matters now because we never did an autopsy on my mom’s brain after her death. We felt she’d been through enough and never liked doctors much so decided against any postmortem; so we’ll never know if her brain could have revealed any clues or not. I like to think the NSAIDs gave her a few extra years before the worst of her symptoms set in. Either that or it was a contributing factor in her developing the disease.

©Natalya for Reflections On Life Thus Far, 2016.




Feeling Grumpy

Sorry I haven’t posted in a while or been reading your blogs much, I’ve been tired from my sinuses I think. Today I feel grumpy and generally it’s my sinuses that do that to me. PMS is already past so it’s not that. I’ve got things to do but don’t seem to have the energy. Maybe it’s S.A.D. coming on me now that it gets dark here shortly after 5 pm. My mood has not been low but I have noticed some irritability in myself since turning the clocks back over a week ago. I really dislike this time of year. Despite my best intentions for learning to enjoy winter it’s difficult when it causes one to suffer in mood. Guess I’ll have to try my light therapy.

Anyone else noticing S.A.D. symptoms coming on lately too?

©Natalya, 2013.


Groundhog Day Blues


Groundhog (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well our groundhog ,for my area, saw his shadow-six more weeks of winter! Anyone know if it’s 6 more weeks IN ADDITION TO the usual season? Or is it just 6 weeks from the date the groundhog sees his shadow? If it’s the former I’m p*ssed, if the latter I am okay because winter doesn’t end for that long anyhow. We’re supposed to have snow tomorrow after we just got rid of the beastly white stuff from a few mild days and rain. Now we have to have more dumped on us! Grrr

I’m always more annoyed when we get snow after we manage to get rid of it. Tomorrow we’re expected to get 10-15 cm and another few cm on Monday with ice pellets. For pity’s sake why does winter have to suck so much? In order to be warm I’ve got to wear layers if it’s below 0 Celsius. Consequently, I’m always walking about feeling 10 pounds heavier and sweating to death inside stores. Lately we’ve had deep freeze temps followed by a few days of above zero temps which melted the snow. Snow makes me grumpy because I have to shovel it and unless it’s powdery it gets heavy.

Today I took the day off from my housekeeping ‘duties’ and bought a few cleaning supplies instead! LOL Monday I am supposed to attend my portfolio development workshop for 9 am but if it is crappy weather it might get cancelled. We were told if the schools close our workshop is cancelled. Hopefully the weather will be alright so I can still make it to the workshop-it’s the first day (last one was an info session).

Well did the groundhog see his shadow or not in your area?

©Natalya, 2013.